Overcoming the struggle of having sex and switching sexuality after becoming widowed is what most widows find very difficult to contend with.
What does a widow do when the sexual urges are strong, and they do not have a spouse with whom they can enjoy a sexual encounter and relieve the tension?
Do they “burn” and think lustful thoughts or masturbate?
Widows who have sexual urges, especially the younger ones, yet have difficulties finding dating, sex partners, or remarrying often ask pertinent questions like, “Is masturbation a sin if you are widowed?” to ascertain if the act of masturbating, which will gratify their sexual urge, is a sin.
Is Masturbation A Sin If You Are Widowed?
Before it can be ascertained if masturbating is a sin, the definition of sin must be examined, and the need to find out if masturbation is prohibited from different perspectives is necessary.
Christian Perspective
Some Christian denominations have viewed masturbation as sinful, considering it to be a misuse of sexuality outside of marriage.
This view is rooted in the belief that sexual intimacy should be reserved exclusively for married couples, and any sexual activity outside of this context is considered immoral.
Some more liberal Christian denominations argue that masturbation, as a private act, is not explicitly condemned in the Bible and can be seen as a morally neutral activity.
Let’s dig deeper into the Bible to see if masturbation is a sin.
What is Sin According to the Bible?
Sin is described in 1 John 3:4 as a “transgression” of God’s spiritual law.
The passage reads, “Whosoever committeth sin transgresseth also the law; for sin is the transgression of the law” (KJV).
One who sins violates or disobeys the will of God as revealed in the Bible.
Is Masturbation among the Sins that Transgress the Law?
According to 1 John 3:4, these sins are a violation of God’s law. The Bible outlines various sins that transgress God’s law, both moral and ethical directives.
The categories below shows the range of behaviors that the Bible considers sinful and transgressions of God’s law.
Sin can then be said to be any action, thought, or attitude that goes against God’s commandments and moral standards.
Idolatry: Worshiping other gods or idols.
Exodus 20:3-4: “You shall have no other gods before me. You shall not make for yourself a carved image.”
Blasphemy: Disrespecting or speaking irreverently about God.
Exodus 20:7: “You shall not take the name of the Lord your God in vain.”
Sabbath Breaking: Not keeping the Sabbath day holy.
Exodus 20:8: “Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy.”
Dishonoring Parents: Not respecting or obeying one’s parents.
Exodus 20:12: “Honor your father and your mother.”
Murder: Taking another person’s life.
Exodus 20:13: “You shall not murder.”
Adultery: Engaging in sexual relations outside of marriage.
Exodus 20:14: “You shall not commit adultery.”
Theft: Stealing or taking what does not belong to you.
Exodus 20:15: “You shall not steal.”
False Witness: Lying or bearing false testimony against others.
Exodus 20:16: “You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor.”
Coveting: Desiring what belongs to others.
Exodus 20:17: “You shall not covet your neighbor’s house; you shall not covet your neighbor’s wife, or his male servant, or his female servant, or his ox, or his donkey, or anything that is your neighbor’s.”
Sexual immorality Includes fornication, adultery, homosexuality, and incest.
1 Corinthians 6:9: Surely you know that the wicked will not possess God’s kingdom. Do not fool yourselves; people who are immoral or who worship idols or are adulterers or homosexual perverts
Greed and Materialism: An excessive desire for wealth or possessions.
1 Timothy 6:10: “For the love of money is the root of all evil.”
Drunkenness, Envy, and Gluttony: Overindulgence in alcohol or food.
Galatians 5:21: They are envious, get drunk, have orgies, and do other things like these. I warn you now, as I have before: those who do these things will not possess the Kingdom of God.
Witchcraftcy
Galatians 5:20: “in worship of idols and witchcraft. People become enemies and they fight; they become jealous, angry, and ambitious. They separate into parties and groups.”
Pride and Arrogance: An inflated sense of self-importance.
Proverbs 16:18: “Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall.”
Unforgiveness: Holding grudges and not forgiving others.
Matthew 6:14-15: “If you forgive others the wrongs they have done to you, your Father in heaven will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others, then your Father will not forgive the wrongs you have done.”
Injustice and Oppression: Treating others unfairly or unjustly.
Micah 6:8: No, the Lord has told us what is good. What he requires of us is this: to do what is just, to show constant love, and to live in humble fellowship with our God.
From the outlines above, MASTURBATION is not mentioned, so therefore the answer is that masturbation is not a sin, as there are no direct references to the act itself as one of the things that transgresses the law. So, as a widow, if you masturbate, it is not a sin, as the Bible has not talked about it specifically as an act of transgression.
Is Masturbation Sexual Immorality?
People argue that masturbation is an act of sexual immorality, which is a transgression of the law.
1 Corinthians 6:18-20: “Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body. Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.”
Sexual immoralities are behaviors that go against God’s commandments and are seen as harmful to individuals and society.
Let’s see if masturbation is among what the Bible outlines as sexual immoralities.
Incest
Sexual relations between close relatives are prohibited.
In Leviticus 18:6-17 the Lord gave the following regulations not have sexual intercourse with any of your relatives, which are:
- mother
- fathers wives.
- sister or your stepsisters
- granddaughter
- half-sister
- Maternal or paternal aunt
- uncle’s wife
- daughter-in-law
- brother’s wife.
- daughter or granddaughter of a woman with whom you have had intercourse.
- Do not take your wife’s sister as one of your wives, as long as your wife is living.
Sex With Menstruation
Leviticus 18:19
Do not have intercourse with a woman during her monthly period, because she is ritually unclean.
Adultery
Defined as sexual relations between a married person and someone who is not their spouse.
Exodus 20:14: “You shall not commit adultery.”
Matthew 5:27-28: “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.”
Leviticus 6:20
Do not have intercourse with another man’s wife; that would make you ritually unclean.
Fornication
Generally, it refers to sexual relations outside of marriage.
1 Corinthians 6:18: “Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body.”
Homosexuality
Sexual relations between people of the same sex are viewed as immoral in several biblical passages.
Leviticus 18:22: “Do not have sexual relations with a man as one does with a woman; that is detestable.”
Romans 1:26-27 “Because they do this, God has given them over to shameful passions. Even women pervert the natural use of their sex by unnatural acts. In the same way, men give up their natural sexual relations with women and burn with passion for each other. Men do shameful things with each other, and as a result, they bring upon themselves the punishment they deserve for their wrongdoing.
Prostitution
This is the act of engaging in or using the services of a prostitute.
1 Corinthians 6:15-16: “Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ himself? Shall I then take the members of Christ and unite them with a prostitute? Never! Do you not know that he who unites himself with a prostitute is one with her in body?”
Bestiality
Sexual relations with animals are explicitly condemned.
Leviticus 18:23: “Do not have sexual relations with an animal and defile yourself with it.”
Rape
Sexual assault or coercion is condemned in Deuteronomy 22:25-29
Lustful Thoughts and Desires
Entertaining lustful thoughts is considered sinful. Matthew 5:28 “But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.”
Is masturbation a lustful thought or act?
Lustful thoughts or acts are those that involve intense or excessive sexual desire. Here are some examples:
Imagining Sexual Scenarios: Visualizing explicit sexual encounters with someone you find attractive.
Fantasizing About a Person: Frequently thinking about someone in a sexual manner, imagining them in intimate situations.
Undressing Someone with Your Eyes: Mentally picturing what someone looks like without their clothes, focusing on their physical attributes.
Obsessing Over Sexual Acts: Continuously thinking about performing specific sexual acts with someone, even if they are not present.
Daydreaming About Sexual Relationships: Creating elaborate daydreams involving sexual relationships with multiple people or someone specific.
From this perspective, it can be seen that masturbation is not a lustful act that is considered a sin, so a widow is free to indulge in masturbation.
The Onan Argument
Some Christians argue and relate the act of Onan to masturbation and regard it as sexual immorality.
This story is in Genesis 38:8-10: Then Judah said to Onan, “Go in to your brother’s wife and perform the duty of a brother-in-law to her, and raise up offspring for your brother.”
But Onan knew that the offspring would not be his. So whenever he went into his brother’s wife, he would waste the semen on the ground, so as not to give offspring to his brother.
And what he did was wicked in the sight of the Lord, and he put him to death also.
Some people argue that when masturbating, the semen is spilled, as was done by Onan, but a counterfactual is that God did not kill Onan because he masturbated and spilled the semen, but he was killed because he spilled the semen outside his brother’s wife’s private part during intercourse.
Counter Argument
Masturbation is self-stimulation to reach orgasm, but in Onan’s case, he was having sexual intercourse and not masturbating, so, his case cannot be attributed to masturbation and be cited as a sin that made God kill him.
Onan’s sin cannot be referred to as masturbation, but his refusal to fulfill his duty to produce offspring for his deceased brother by deliberately spilling his semen. His actions were seen as selfish and disobedient to God’s command, which is why he was punished.
Medical Perspective on Sperm Collection and Religious Consideration
In medical practice, there are instances where a man needs to provide a sperm sample.
This could be for diagnostic purposes, such as fertility testing, or for assisted reproductive techniques like surrogacy.
The process of obtaining this sample is commonly referred to as “sperm collection” or “semen collection”.
The methods for collecting sperm include masturbation, which is the most common, as well as other medical techniques like testicular sperm extraction (TESE) if masturbation is not possible.
From a medical standpoint, sperm collection through masturbation for legitimate medical reasons is generally considered acceptable and necessary.
It is not viewed as a sin in these contexts because it serves a clear medical purpose, such as diagnosing infertility or enabling conception through assisted reproductive technologies.
Consideration for Widows
If masturbation for medical purposes is not considered a sin due to its clear and necessary intent, then it raises the question of why masturbation by a widow, who may seek comfort and stress relief, would be considered sinful.
Just as sperm collection through masturbation is seen as permissible for its intended medical purpose, some might argue that the same understanding and compassion should be extended to widows, in their personal circumstances.
Non-Religious Perspective
People who are not affiliated with any faith often defend their actions by describing what can be considered a sin.
Sin is any action or inaction conducted by anyone that results in harm, pain, or injury to others and/or to oneself.
This includes both direct actions, such as causing physical or emotional harm, and indirect actions, such as neglect or failure to help when needed.
An action is considered a sin when the impact of one’s behavior on the well-being of others is harmful and is characterized by negative consequences.
Justifications
Masturbation, in itself, typically does not cause direct harm, pain, or injury to others or oneself. Therefore, it is not considered a sin from this perspective.
Impacts
However, there are impacts of masturbation that are considered to have the following aspects:
Physical and Mental Health:
- Research has shown that masturbation can offer various health benefits, including improved concentration, better stress management, and even pain relief.
- Masturbation can be a normal and healthy part of sexual expression and does not inherently cause harm.
- If masturbation becomes compulsive or addictive, it can negatively impact one’s mental health, relationships, and overall well-being.
Stress Relief: Masturbation is touted as a great way to release tension, refrain from premarital or illicit sex, sleep better, and increase awareness of what “works” as people explore their sexuality.
Sexual Satisfaction: For someone who is single or widowed, masturbation offers an innocent way to fulfill sexual desire when no partner is available. And for as many as 70 percent of women, vaginal intercourse does not result in an orgasm, while masturbation does.
Impact on Relationships: If masturbation interferes with one’s relationships or responsibilities, it could be seen as having negative consequences.
Neglect or Failure to Help: If one’s focus on masturbation leads to neglect of duties, relationships, or other important aspects of life, this inaction might be considered sinful by some interpretations.
Masturbation as a Coping Mechanism: According to some psychologists, masturbation can serve as a coping mechanism, helping to relieve stress and even aid in sleep.
It can also be a form of self-care, offering both physical and emotional relief.
However, it’s crucial to recognize that it’s not a one-size-fits-all remedy and might not be a helpful approach for everyone.
Emotional Relief: Masturbation can offer emotional relief and reduce stress, acting as a form of self-care.
Especially for widows grappling with loss, it can provide a momentary escape from the emotional turmoil.
Individual Autonomy: Masturbation is an expression of one’s sexual autonomy. Widowhood shouldn’t act as an indefinite cessation of one’s sexual life, and masturbation can be a way to reclaim that autonomy.
No Direct Religious Prohibition: Many religious texts don’t explicitly prohibit masturbation for widows, leaving it up to personal interpretation and comfort.
Rules of Engagement on Masturbation
1. Masturbation must not be practiced habitually.
2. If masturbation does occur, it should be isolated acts devoid of lustful thinking or the viewing of sexually stimulating media to avoid the sin of adultery in the heart (Matthew 5:27-28).
3. One must guard against masturbation replacing the romp of loving sexual encounters with one’s spouse.
4. If masturbation hinders, delays, or decreases the enjoyment of loving sexual encounters, then sin has occurred and masturbation should be avoided (Ephesians 5:25, 28; Titus 2:4).
5. Masturbation should only occur when it is needed to calm “fiery hot” sexual passion, prevent lustful thoughts, and avoid other sexual sins.
6. Masturbation must never become compulsive. It must never be something that is practiced multiple times a day, day after day or week after week (1 Corinthians 6:12).
Conclusion
The Bible does not explicitly mention masturbation or directly label it as a sin. The interpretation of whether masturbation is sinful varies among different Christian denominations and religious scholars and these interpretations are often subject to personal and doctrinal belief
Since we cannot be confident whether masturbation is a sin or is not a sin in all the contexts explored, it can therefore be said that the parallel principle for masturbation as a widow is that even if it is not a sin, it is a sin for you if your conscience is convicting you that masturbation is a sin.
The determination of whether masturbation is a sin under the provided perspectives depends on the context and the consequences of the action.
If masturbation leads to negative outcomes for oneself or others, it might be classified as sinful. However, if it does not result in harm or neglect, others might not view it as a sin.
