The Bible addresses various aspects of life, including the topic of widows remarrying. The loss of a spouse is a profound experience, and widows may contemplate the possibility of finding love and companionship once again.
In exploring what the Bible says about widows remarrying, we can gain insight into the perspectives and principles that guide Christian believers while considering their application in the modern Christian faith.
What Does the Bible Say About Widows Remarrying
The Bible provides several references that shed light on the topic of widows remarrying.
It is important to note that different interpretations and teachings exist within Christian denominations regarding this issue.
1. 1 Timothy Chapter 5 Verses 3-16
Before considering other Bible Passages that deal with remarrying, adequate attention and proper illustration have to be posed on the book of 1 Timothy Chapter 5 Verses 3-16 as its interpretation by religious leaders has brought a lot of conflict in the modern world about widows remarrying.
This particular Bible portion has aggravated the issue, as a lot of people do not have a full understanding of its nitty-gritty.
a. 1 Timothy 5:3
“Show respect for widows who are all alone.”
At first, widows were classified as one but it was later discovered that the younger ones were not behaving like people who lost their husbands, hence the word “really alone”
b. 1 Timothy 5:4
“But if a widow has children or grandchildren, they should learn first to carry out their religious duties towards their own family and, in this way repay their parents and grandparents, because that is what pleases God.”
Apostle Paul gave standards of living to widows to be accorded respect and seen as virtuous widows as these acts were both pleasing to God and man.
c. 1 Timothy 5:5-6
“A widow who is all alone, with no one to take care of her, has placed her hope in God and continues to pray and ask him for his help night and day. But a widow who gives herself pleasure has already died, even though she lives.”
At this juncture, it clearly shows that there were widows who were all by themselves with no one to take care of their financial, sexual, material, moral, etc needs but hoping only on God to provide their destiny helpers who will not exploit their vulnerability.
On the other hand, some widows indulged in several corruptible things to get these needs.
And Paul described them as dead though living. Because they have violated a lot of things like not honoring their spouse’s memory by staying virtuous.
d. 1 Timothy 5:7
“Give them these instructions, so that no one will find fault with them.”
Having seen that there were two sets of widows, he gave an instruction that he felt could curb if not eradicate the excesses of the widows who had gone astray from the religious standard of that time probably the law of Moses which was as a statute upheld by a religious sect of that time.
e. 1 Timothy 5:8
“But if anyone does not take care of his relatives, especially the members of his own family, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.”
One would wonder why Paul brought the men into the discussion that concerned women. He displayed emotional blackmail in this statement because he knew that he would reinstate an extra responsibility of the young widows on their shoulders.
He was effecting the law of Moses on those men perhaps they have forgotten. At this point, he made it clear to those men.
“Whether you like it or not, you must remarry these young widows and you must provide for them so as not to be worse than an infidel”
They must marry as many wives as they can to accommodate these young Widows and being under a man will curtail their irresponsible behavior.
At this juncture, Paul Apostle encouraged Polygamy as an inclusive method to cushion the negative effects of young widowhood.
f) 1 Timothy 5:9
“Do not add any widow to the list of widows unless she is over sixty years of age. In addition, she must have been married only once.”
At this point, he made it clear to the church authorities to not include widows below the age of 60 in the church registry which is an eligibility to get church support. This church Support was at this point mandated to be given to older widows.
Another criterion was that; these widows must have been married only once. In essence, it meant that even if you had reached the age of sixty but married twice, you were not eligible for church support. Fend for yourself!
However, sorting out widows from the age of 60 clearly shows that they are more well-behaved than younger folks. And they tend to have fewer challenges that might conflict with their religious uprightness.
The sexual desires of the younger ones are more intense than those of the older ones. So, they must be remarried to quell these sexual cravings.
And “she must be married once” shows that no matter how young you are, if you are married twice, you are no longer eligible to be married. Probably Paul felt that at the age of 60, they would have married twice, hence some of their youthful exuberance had waned.
g. 1 Timothy 5:10
and have a reputation for good deeds: a woman who brought up her children well, received strangers in her home, performed humble duties for fellow Christians, helped people in trouble, and devoted herself to doing good.
This is another angle of the remarriage. It simply meant that despite the instructions of remarrying young widows, some of them were rejected by men because they did not meet up these prerequisites.
In essence, Not all young widows met the criteria of remarrying. This passage guides the selection of widows who would be eligible for financial support from the church and remarriage.
h. 1 Timothy 5:11-12
“But do not include younger widows in the list; because when their desires make them want to marry, they turn away from Christ, and so become guilty of breaking their earlier promise to him.”
Sexual cravings were a major problem among young widows. So, sleeping randomly (illegal relationship) to quench this desire was regarded as a sin, so they should remarry and do it legally.
It advises against enrolling younger widows due to the potential distractions and challenges they may face in their faith when pursuing remarriage.
i. 1 Timothy 5:13
“They also learn to waste their time in going round from house to house; but even worse, they learn to be gossips and busybodies, talking of things they should not.”
This is another reason Paul recommends remarriage for young widows which the modern-age Christianity tends not to talk about.
These widows inculcated the habit of gossiping. They were jobless going from house to house creating havoc. They engaged in activities they were not supposed to.
They were idle gossipers that was why Paul screamed that all the men should get married to them and take care of them with their children so that they would not bring shame to the body of Christ. Why were most of them, idle gossipers?
Because their material needs were well taken care of, their children were cared for by the collective efforts of the church. So they never thought of getting into profitable dealings other than sex and gossip.
Now note that all widows were being taken care of by the church before the discovery of certain unreligious behavior by some of them which Paul’s attention was called to address which led to the reinstitution of Moses’ law of remarrying young Widows.
It was compulsory that everyone must contribute to the welfare of the orphans, fatherless, and widows to the extent that Annais and Saphirra died because they were crafty in selling their land and refused to bring all the proceeds. This is how grievous it was when one failed to take care of this set of people.
j. 1 Timothy 5:14
“So I would have younger widows marry, bear children, manage their households, and give the adversary no occasion for slander.”
Here, the Apostle Paul advises younger widows to remarry, highlighting the importance of building families and managing households. This guidance aims to protect their reputation and prevent slanderous accusations.
k. 1 Timothy 5:15-16
“For some widows have already turned away to follow Satan. But if any Christian woman has widows in her family, she must take care of them and not put the burden on the church, so that it may take care of the widows who are all alone.
Paul in verse 16 further divided responsibilities.
1) Young widows who have met the criteria should remarry and be controlled by these men and help them take care of their children and make them responsible women.
2) The ones that cannot remarry should be taken care of by fellow women (not men please take note) in their families.
3. The older widows (60 plus) should be the sole responsibility of the church because, in my opinion, they are lesser sinners and easier to control than the younger folks.
2. Romans 7:1-3 (ESV)
“Or do you not know, brothers—for I am speaking to those who know the law—that the law is binding on a person only as long as he lives? A married woman is bound by law to her husband while he lives, but if her husband dies, she is released from the law of marriage. Accordingly, she will be called an adulteress if she lives with another man while her husband is alive. But if her husband dies, she is free from that law, and if she marries another man, she is not an adulteress.
This passage emphasizes the release from the marital bond through death. It clarifies that if a married woman’s husband dies, she is no longer bound by the law of marriage. Consequently, she is free to marry another man without being labeled an adulteress.
3. 1 Corinthians 7:8 (ESV)
“To the unmarried and the widows, I say that it is good for them to remain single, as I am.”
Here, Paul addresses both unmarried individuals and widows, expressing the merit of remaining single. This verse underscores the value of dedicating oneself fully to the Lord’s work without the responsibilities of marriage.
4. Deuteronomy 25:5-6 (ESV)
“If brothers dwell together, and one of them dies and has no son, the wife of the dead man shall not be married outside the family to a stranger. Her husband’s brother shall go into her and take her as his wife and perform the duty of a husband’s brother to her. And the first son whom she bears shall succeed to the name of his dead brother, that his name may not be blotted out of Israel.”
This passage, found in the Old Testament, illustrates the practice of levirate marriage. If a man died childless, his brother was expected to marry the widow to ensure the continuation of the deceased brother’s lineage.
5. Luke 2:36-37 (ESV)
“And there was a prophetess, Anna, the daughter of Phanuel, of the tribe of Asher. She was advanced in years, having lived with her husband for seven years from when she was a virgin, and then as a widow until she was eighty-four. She did not depart from the temple, worshiping with fasting and prayer night and day.”
This passage introduces Anna, a widow who remained unmarried after her husband’s death, dedicating her life to the worship of God in the temple. It serves as an example of a widow who chose a life of celibacy and devotion to God.
6. 1 Corinthians 7:39 (ESV)
“A wife is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is free to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord.”
This verse reiterates the freedom of a widow to remarry. The phrase “only in the Lord” suggests that the remarriage should align with Christian principles and values.
7. 1 Corinthians 7:8-9 (ESV)
“To the unmarried and the widows, I say that it is good for them to remain single, as I am. But if they cannot exercise self-control, they should marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion.”
In this passage, the apostle Paul addresses both the unmarried and widows, expressing the virtue of remaining single.
However, he acknowledges that not everyone possesses the gift of celibacy and recognizes that marrying is a valid option to avoid falling into sexual immorality.
Relevance of the Biblical Passages in Today’s World
1. Emphasizing Freedom of Choice
The passages highlight the freedom of widows to choose whether or not to remarry. In today’s world, this principle supports the idea that widows have the autonomy to make decisions about their personal lives, including relationships and remarriage. It encourages respecting their choices and recognizing their agency.
2. Recognizing Individual Gifts and Callings
The passages discussing the virtue of remaining single and dedicating oneself to God’s work emphasize the importance of recognizing and cultivating individual gifts and callings.
In contemporary society, this can mean embracing the gift of singleness or choosing a life of celibacy, dedicating one’s time and energy to service, ministry, or other pursuits that align with personal values and beliefs.
3. Promoting Emotional and Social Well-being
The passages that encourage younger widows to remarry and build families recognize the potential benefits of companionship and support for widows.
Today, these verses can be seen as advocating for the emotional and social well-being of widows, encouraging healthy relationships and the pursuit of love and companionship after the loss of a spouse.
4. Considering the Context of the Culture and Time
It is crucial to understand the cultural and historical context of the passages and recognize that societal norms have evolved since they were written.
The principles behind these verses can be applied in today’s world while considering the broader cultural and societal contexts.
This means acknowledging the diversity of perspectives and cultural practices surrounding widowhood and remarriage, while also respecting individual choices and decisions.
5. Balancing Faith and Personal Life
The passages that mention marrying “in the Lord” or avoiding distractions from one’s faith highlight the importance of seeking alignment between one’s spiritual beliefs and personal choices.
In contemporary times, this can be understood as considering the compatibility of values, faith, and beliefs in relationships, and ensuring that personal choices align with one’s spiritual convictions.
Modern Application of Biblical Statutes of Widows Remarrying
In reality, the application of the biblical commands regarding widows and remarriage varies among individuals and cultures.
While some men do put these commands into action by marrying widows, it is important to recognize that not all men do so, and the reasons behind their decisions are diverse.
Here are some observations regarding the reality of men marrying widows:
1. Cultural and Religious Factors
Cultural and religious beliefs and practices significantly influence how widows are perceived and treated within different communities.
In some cultures and religious traditions, marrying a widow is considered a virtuous act, as it demonstrates compassion and support for a vulnerable individual.
These cultural and religious norms can motivate men to actively seek relationships with widows.
However, it is pertinent to ask;
How many men in authority just like Paul can order these men to marry young widows and they do so?
Which organization especially churches has championed the course of educating men to marry young Widows?
How many churches, pastors, or organization has made it a statute for men to marry young widows?Â
The Christian community declaring “young widows should remarry” is a misplaced statement. It should rather be “men marry young Widows” just like what Paul did. He made sure those instructions were carried out even if it means to blackmail the men emotionally.
2. Individual Preferences and Circumstances
Men’s decisions regarding the remarriage of widows are influenced by their personal preferences, circumstances, and readiness for a new relationship.
Some men may feel a strong connection or attraction to a widow and choose to marry her based on their mutual compatibility and affection.
Others may have personal reasons, such as wanting to create a loving family environment or finding emotional companionship, which leads them to pursue relationships with widows.
Another pertinent question ensues:
How many men would wholeheartedly accept to cater for another man’s child to prove that he is not worse than an infidel?
I ask again, how many men are willing to marry young widows and inherit their kids?
It is happening, but what is the ratio to that of single ladies?
Even widowers and male divorcees are considering single women for marriage instead of a widow.
You can see that the chances of remarrying young widows in this modern age are very slim.
So please let’s allow these young widows to breathe. They should not be pressured into desperation and depression.
3. Emotional Support and Companionship
Remarrying a widow can provide emotional support and companionship not only to the widow but also to the man involved.
Both individuals may find solace and comfort in each other’s company, particularly if they have shared experiences of loss and can relate to one another’s grief.
Another question is;
Which woman in this present age and time would wholeheartedly welcome a fellow woman to share her husband?
How many women welcome young widows into their homes without fear or accusation of snatching their husbands?
4. Stigma and Social Pressures
In some societies, there may still be stigmas associated with marrying widows, which can discourage men from pursuing such relationships.
Social pressures, cultural expectations, or concerns about how their families or communities will perceive the union may influence men’s decisions. Even those who understand the gospel of polygamy don’t practice it for fear of the reaction of society.
How many women allow their husbands to have side chicks? Every woman is safeguarding their men like hoarded fuel, especially in Christendom yet young widows are pressured to remarry.
Remarrying is not in every widow’s mind. So let them be! Some are scared of probing questions like; what killed your husband? Are you sure you are not possessed?
This especially happens in Africa, so, to avoid silly questions and negative judgments, they decide not to remarry.
5. Individual Awareness and Understanding of Scripture
The level of adherence to biblical commands regarding widows and remarriage can vary among individuals. Some men who deeply value and follow biblical teachings may actively seek to put these commands into practice by marrying widows.
Others may interpret the teachings differently or prioritize different aspects of their faith, leading to different decisions regarding remarriage.
This feat of remarrying young Widows seems to be a hard nut to crack because everyone is preaching against polygamy.
How then would it work when everyone is clamoring for monogamy?Â
Will they be the ones to marry the men?
If it were to be possible that way, they would do it. In all, I would say that remarrying should not be a yardstick to pass judgments on young widows as society has not helped them remarry. They are being subjected to a lot of abuse, stigmatization, and Stereotyping.
Conclusion
In examining what the Bible says about widows remarrying, we find that it does not explicitly forbid or command widows to remarry.
While the Bible emphasizes the sanctity of marriage and the importance of commitment, it also recognizes the emotional and relational needs of individuals, including widows.
The decision to remarry rests with the individual, guided by prayer, biblical principles, and the counsel of fellow believers.
The overarching message from the Bible is to prioritize love, compassion, and support for widows while seeking God’s wisdom and discernment in matters of remarriage.
While remarriage after widowhood is seen as acceptable and even encouraged in the Bible, it is important to approach such decisions prayerfully and seek God’s guidance in finding the right partner.
